no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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