So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
