I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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