so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
