She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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