ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
