Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
