you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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