Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
