I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
