it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
