i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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