omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
