What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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