It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
