Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
