do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
