I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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