What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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