btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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