Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize
