Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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