what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
