you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
