batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i out mim tonsoeep
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