People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
