idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ok first of all what the fuck
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
