Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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