the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
