I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
