i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm sobbing to NWA
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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