Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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