drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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