Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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