Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
