i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
