We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
