I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
