Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
