I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
