I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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