wat bout pragnant strippers??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
