IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
