I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
