i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
