Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
