***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
