Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
