It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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