I love black thongs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
