sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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